Sunday, December 25, 2011

How Was Your Christmas?

My Christmas was subpar. I really didn't want anything, but my mother's love of big Christmases propelled her to badger me into making a list anyway. Now, I have a ton of stuff that will never get used, will be regifted, or will rot in some closet, but now I am expected to be grateful for.

My subnormal brother spent Christmas Eve "working," so we had to be quiet and tip-toe around the house while he sobered up enough to join the family. This occurred around 5. Thankfully, we got to eat, though I had already eaten the dessert pie out of the pan. My lack of self-discipline is why I am fat.

We ate in silence and then I wandered off  and spent the rest of the time trying to fend off attempts by wayward Wi-Fi nodes to connect to computer and deciding which hobos I will give out my Christmas candy to in an ultimately futile attempt to keep them from trying to rob or rape me. Then I decided to blog. If I can focus my attention, I am going to post some amusing stuff soon.


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